Peeping Slytherins
by Dying Romance
Summary: “You mean to say this chalk draws doorways to anywhere we want?” Draco asked. Blaise nodded feverishly. “Alright then. Let’s put this to the test and draw a doorway to…hmmm…Granger’s flat.” Chaos and hilarity ensues. HGDM & GWBZ.
1. Peeping Passed

**Title**: Peeping Slytherins

**Summary**: Blaise buys some enchanted chalk that is supposed to be used to draw doors which lead anywhere you want them to. Draco is very disbelieving and decides to put this chalk to the test by drawing a doorway into Hermione's apartment. Chaos and hilarity ensues. Hermione x Draco & Ginny x Blaise.

* * *

Blaise Zabini came running into his apartment, screaming out incoherent phrases. He ran about it frantically, searching for his arrogant, blonde roommate, who was probably admiring himself in the bathroom mirror. The crazed boy slammed open the bathroom door, hitting his roommate square in the face.

"My face!"

"Draco! I have great news!"

"It better be bloody magnificent!" Draco pouted, rubbing his nose. "You almost knocked all the beauty out of me and that's near damn impossible."

"I saved money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!"

"That is it! No more muggle television for you!"

"I'm kidding," Blaise said quickly. "I love my Spanish soap operas. You really should start watching _Betty La Fea_ with me."

"Screw that! It's about a nerd who falls in love with a rich guy and then bam, one day she's pretty and he loves her too. Total crap."

"It's really sweet and funny. You should be more sensitive."

Draco rolled his eyes dramatically. "You should have been a woman. You can't even understand what they're saying!"

"My mother is from Spain, stupid!"

"Can you please explain to me why I live in this shitty apartment with you?"

"Because you want to be my lover?"

The truth was that during the war, Draco and Blaise had switched to the light side creating two very disgruntled pureblooded families. They quickly cut off their sons from their money and inheritance. Both had a job at the ministry but neither had yet obtained the position most lucrative of their department. They were only nineteen and, even though they fought in the war, were still treated as children by their elders. They had to climb up the social ladder all over again since they were disowned. Narcissa sent the two boys money every other week but it all disappeared quickly on rent and food. Nothing seemed to be enough anymore but they still managed to be content with life.

"Please, refrain from saying that. Now, can you tell me why you came running in here like a pregnant woman about to give birth?"

"When a woman's water breaks they can't run around as frantically as I can."

"Blaise, get on with it!"

"I have something cool," he said in a sing-song voice. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out two pieces of chalk.

"What the hell do you pretend to do with that? Play hop-scotch on the sidewalk?"

"You've been watching the television…"

"Zabini. What is the chalk for?" Draco asked, with an edge to his voice.

"Oooh, last name basis. You're cranky and I'm hurt."

"BLAISE!"

"Okay! We can draw doorways!"

"…"

"To other places!"

"…"

"Yay!"

"We'll draw a doorway to St. Mungo's and leave you there."

Blaise stuck out his bottom lip. "You're a mean fuckface!"

"You've been tricked," Draco said. "Who in Merlin's Underwear Drawer convinced you that these two little sticks will take you other places?"

"A hooded man in the Leaky Cauldron…"

"What did I say about strangers?"

Blaise shook his head and crossed his arms like a child. "I don't want to say."

"What did I say about strangers, Blaise?"

"Never talk to them or take things from them unless they are a hot woman with fantastic legs."

"Good Blaise."

"But it was so cool and I wanted them! You draw something you can fit through and then push it. The piece will move out and then you can go through! Anywhere you want!"

Draco stared at him, eyebrow raised. He took one of the sticks of chalk from Blaise's hand and eyed it warily. "You mean to say this chalk draws doorways to anywhere we want?" Blaise nodded feverishly. "Alright then. Let's put this to the test and draw a doorway to…hmmm…Granger's flat."

"Hermione Granger? Why her? We could go to that famous girl's house. What's her name?"

"Haris Pilton?"

"Paris Hilton!"

"Yeah but she has weird feet…"

Blaise rolled his eyes. "You're picky."

"I'm not; I just don't want to see crusty feet all over my bed."

"The girl you did last week had a funny looking pinky nail. It looked like it wasn't there."

"She made good conversation!"

"Invisible pinky nail! Invisible pinky nail! Invisible pinky nail!"

"Shutup!"

"Fine," Blaise sighed. "But why Granger?"

Draco shrugged. "I don't know. She's as random as I could spontaneously get and she was the last person we saw at the ministry today. She was bringing in a report from St. Mungo's for someone about I don't know what…"

"That's a lie. The last person we saw was Finnegan."

"And you want to go there, fruit basket?"

"I was just calling you on your lie!"

"Could we just get this over with already???"

"Okay, okay," Blaise said. "Let's do this."

* * *

Draco and Blaise positioned themselves in front of a plain wall in their living room. They had never bothered to put anything on it and it was the perfect space for their experiment. Blaise put the chalk to the wall and started to draw but then Draco stopped him.

"Wait, how do we close it back up?" he asked.

"The guy said you tap the wall with your wand and say 'Peeping Passed'."

"'Peeping Passed'?! This is for perverts!" Draco said, horrified. "It's easy access to spy on naked girls!"

"What are you, a nun? You **are** perverted!"

"Yeah, well…I don't buy this chalk made for horny people."

"No but you'll use it."

"Just shutup and draw."

Blaise rolled his eyes and continued to draw his idea of a doorway. When he was finished, he smiled at it, satisfied.

"Isn't it pretty?"

"Blaise, it's a giant heart. A crooked one."

"You know, you should learn to compliment people."

"You draw like shit!"

"I want to see you draw the next doorway!"

"I will!"

"Yeah, and we'll see who's laughing then!"

"Asshole!"

"Monkey!"

"Monkey's asshole!"

Blaise gasped. "How could you?"

"Oh geez!" Draco muttered and he pushed on the wall. To his, and Blaise's surprise, the wall disappeared leaving a big gaping hole in the middle of their living room shaped as a bent up heart. The only problem was that they didn't specify what part of her house to gain entrance to so the chalk played Russian Roulette with it and they got any random room.

* * *

Hermione Granger was cooking dinner for her and her roommate, Ginny Weasley. She was trying desperately to cheer her up because Ginny had recently gotten her heart broken for the second time. Sixth year was a disaster for the red head; she fell in love with someone totally forbidden during the war and her family had a fit. The boy proved to be good in the end but the Weasleys would hear none of it; they didn't want her associating with someone who had once joined forces with a group that was such a threat to human kind. Her heart yearned for this boy still and she was already eighteen years old. Seventh year, she steered away from all male contact and fell into a depression. Hermione helped her out of it and Ginny finally tried dating again when she got out of Hogwarts. She met a guy named Xavier and they lasted about seven months until she found out he had cheated on her numerous times.

"Ginny! Dinner's ready!"

Hermione finished setting up the table and sighed. She attempted cooking Ginny's favorites but they never tasted as good as Mrs. Weasley made them. The young red head came into the kitchen and smiled at the food.

"Thank you. It means a lot to me," she muttered.

"Nothing to it," Hermione said. "I just want you to enjoy it, okay?"

Both girls sat in silence and ate before Ginny finally spoke up. "I had a dream about him last night…"

"It's been really long since you have. What, almost a year, right?"

She nodded. Neither girl dared to speak his name because it brought too many negative memories into Ginny's head. Whenever they spoke of 'him' they knew exactly who they were referring to.

"I miss him," Ginny sighed.

"I do, too. As a friend of course. He was a great guy, really. I wish your family could have seen that."

She shrugged. "Too late now."

Hermione nodded sadly and squeezed her shoulder encouragingly. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I just…I'm going to bed early tonight. Thank you for the food, it was really good," Ginny said. Sighing, she got up and retreated to her room.

* * *

Ginny entered her room and closed the door with her foot. She closed her eyes and pulled her shirt off with a deep sigh. She was so tired and just worn out. Things weren't getting any better for her and she was sick of it. She missed him and Xavier was never enough for her. She was more upset that Xavier wasn't a good enough replacement for him rather than the fact that he cheated.

Taking another deep sigh, she opened her eyes and what she saw almost knocked her over. A tall guy was standing in a heart-shaped passageway in her room and he was beautiful. His brown hair fell shaggily over his eyes, which were a gorgeous blue with a golden ring around the pupil. He was tan and obviously muscular. He had a lip ring on the left side of his bottom lip and Ginny felt her stomach tie in knots. She had once pressed her lips against that lip ring and shivered at its coldness.

"B-Blaise?"

"Ginny…I…_hola cariño_."

The red head felt her knees go weak at the familiar greeting and almost passed out. Ginny hadn't seen him ever since her family forbade her. She was forced to avoid all areas he was in and next thing she knew, years passed and she hadn't seen his face. She was awakened with the rudeness of a brute voice.

"Oy, this isn't Granger's apartment! Peeping Passed! Peeping Passed!"

"Wait!" Blaise yelled but it was too late; the doorway had already closed. "You're a fucking idiot!"

"What? We were in the wrong place!" Draco said defensively.

"Did you see who it was?! It was Ginny!"

"Exactly!"

"…"

"What?" Draco asked with a shrug.

"Seventh year! Remember?!"

"…Whoops, sorry mate, I panicked. Draw the doorway again."

"No, now I'm all nervous!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Fine, then just go tomorrow."

"Right. Tomorrow."

Blaise's eyes lingered on the wall for a minute and then retreated to his room. Draco sighed and shrugged and then also went to his. The night could not get any weirder than that.

* * *

**A/N: I'm back and quick, lol. I have like fanfic fever; I can't stop writing! Anywho, here is my new attempt at being original, lol. This story will focus equally on both relationships. It is just easier with Blaise and Ginny because of their past but not to worry; Hermione and Draco will be together. Anywho, this is deff going to be a comedy. I'm better at that then angsty stuff. It's not my forte. I hope you really like this and laugh the entire way through. I just adore my Blaise. He's such an adorable dunce, lol. Don't think anything else is needed to be said. Thanks for reading. Remember: Read, **_**enjoy**_**, & always review!**

**Wow, I just read a flame I got on "Smile" and it dampened my mood. She says that I lost admiration, that people would have been happier had Draco and Hermione been together, and had my story been longer. She says I screwed it up. Wow. I write for the enjoyment of others and so people can be happy but I also write for MYSELF. Had I gone against my idea I would have hated my story. I choose my happiness over others, as greedy as that sounds. I think I did a damn good job and I'm fucking proud of what I produced. Life isn't rainbows and butterflies, why should all stories be so? God, and if you're going to flame don't make it anonymous, okay? Be proud of your opinions. Gosh, this is the last time I defend my ending, lol. I'm leaving it as it is and people can keep talking about it and saying it sucks. It was fabulous, so boo you whore.**

**I love you guys who support me or atleast respect my decisions. UGH, enough of this, lol. I'm over it. Yay, read my story!**


	2. Snooping Around

It was odd how Ginny and Blaise fell into each other's lives. It was a dangerous time to be anywhere inhabited by wizards; the war was in full effect. Ginny had been forced to stay at Hogwarts as all her friends went to defend the wizarding world. She was broken and alone, fearing the worst for her loved ones. The red head desired nothing more but to fight. Blaise was a supporter of Voldemort at the time; how could he not be? It was Zabini tradition. He had also stayed at Hogwarts but for a totally different reason. He was to spy on all events in the castle. Nothing was to surpass him and everything he learned was to be reported to Voldemort immediately. He considered it a boring job but blood-free nonetheless and that is how he liked it.

Ginny was always by herself; she spoke to no one and distanced herself greatly. Blaise decided that maybe he could persuade the vulnerable girl to confess something useful for the Dark Lord and so he attempted befriending her. At first, it was extremely difficult. The little Weasley refused to answer him or even make eye contact with the boy. He was becoming frustrated at her moody attitude and was getting angry with her. As time progressed, he yearned to just have a conversation with her. He was alone in Slytherin house; most were off fighting with their parents and those who were there, he hated. Draco was in hiding at the time. He had already gone to the Order for help because Voldemort was out to kill him for failing his mission. Blaise felt deserted. That was when he realized that he and Ginny were the same people on two different sides.

Blaise turned over in his bed as he remembered their first conversation, when they both realized that they might as well be friends than be alone.

**Flashback**

_"Weasley," Blaise said in greeting as he sat next to her at the Gryffindor table. Who was there to judge them anyway?_

_"Zabini," she sighed. "What do you want? I have no desire to humor you today."_

_"I just want to talk."_

_"You're kidding right? What is it you're searching for? Harry's location or something because I love him and I wou—"_

_"Spare me the dramatics. You don't love him, you are merely obsessed. Besides, I'm not here for any sort of information. I just want to talk."_

_Ginny stared at him for any trace of insincerity in his face. There was none and she sighed in defeat. "Fine…but why?"_

_"_Preciosa_, haven't you realized? We're the abandoned." (Precious)_

_The red head couldn't help herself as her lips turned into a small smile. Nodding in agreement, she turned to look at him._

**End Flashback**

Ever since that day, they continued to meet and slowly their friendship progressed into a passionate love. It was that love for her that turned Blaise to the light side. He wanted nothing to do with something that could end in her gruesome death. That was when their relationship went into disarray. His family disowned him and the Weasleys were angered by Ginny's choice to date him. Her friends supported her, especially Hermione Granger, and they befriended him, but it was of no use. Little by little, they were torn apart. Blaise thought he had forgotten the fire cracker of a girl but he was wrong; he still loved her.

"Good morning sunshine!" Draco yelled, barging into his room.

It always amazed Blaise how Draco was a morning person. "Go away you evil runt…"

"We have to go to work. How do you think we pay for this magnificently decorated cardboard box we inhabit?"

"I want to see Ginny."

"At night; she's probably off to work too. C'mon, don't get all mushy depressed on me now," Draco said, pulling the covers off of his friend. "Up!"

"I'm not a flipping broom, idiot."

"You will be if you don't get up!"

With a huge, aggravated groan, Blaise threw his feet off of the side of the bed and finally got up. He shot a nasty glare at the blonde boy and stalked off into the bathroom.

* * *

Hermione sighed and rubbed her temples. She had been at work for only a few hours and already she had a mind-splitting head ache. She was working in the Mental Ward of St. Mungo's and it was a huge hand full. She was also in charge of training Ginny so that in a year she could also run a section of the Mental Ward. While it was fun working with a friend, it could also pose a challenge to constantly have to explain things. She pitied the man who had to train her; Hermione had so many questions, it must have driven him insane. 

"Ginny, I have to go to the Ministry again. They want to hear about the progress of the remaining Death Eaters. I'm starting to think that they lose more and more of their minds everyday," she sighed.

"It's sad to see people who had so much potential ruin their lives just because they believed the Dark Lord possessed what was needed to attain power," Ginny said.

"Yes, and now they are alone and bonkers," Hermione quickly covered her mouth. "It's mean of me, isn't it? To call them bonkers?"

Ginny giggled and shrugged. "I was the only one who heard it and I'm not going to reprimand you. Now go, I can handle myself here while you're gone."

"Thanks Gin. I'll be back soon."

With that said Hermione left the hospital and drove to the ministry. Once there she went into the phone booth, plugged in the correct set of numbers, and within seconds, was inside the bustling building.

* * *

"Blaise! You can't make coffee for shit, not even with your rubbish of a wand! Geez, you're a sorry excuse for a wizard," Draco complained, nearly spitting out the sip he had taken. 

"You're so ungrateful! I slave over a hot wand brewing you this stuff and this is how you repay me?" the brown haired boy asked, indignantly.

"You'd be a lousy wife!"

Blaise gasped. "I'd be a wonderful wife! I'd win the 'Wife of the Year' Award!"

"Too bad no one will marry you."

"Some amazing man will!"

"Man?" Draco repeated, laughing. "You're _definitely_ a fruit basket."

"You're so mean to me!" Blaise pouted. "I'm a heart broken man in need of tender loving!"

"Go get your bloody red head and stay away from me!"

"She's not a bloody red head Draco and I would deeply appreciate it if you took that statement back," Blaise said, seriously.

"Geez mate, sorry. It was only joking."

Blaise crossed his arms like a child, a bad habit of his, and turned his back on his friend. Draco rolled his eyes and sighed. "Blaise? Blaise?" The blonde sighed in exasperation and embarrassment because he knew what he would have to do to get the boy's attention. "Blaise? _Perdonarme, por favor_." (Forgive me, please.)

"You've been listening to me when I try and teach you!"

"Yes, yes I have," Draco muttered. "Are we fine or what?"

"Hug me!"

"Blaise, you're like a child, you know that?"

"Hug me, dammit!" Draco rolled his eyes again and stiffly took his best friend in his arms.

"Please, can we finish this?" Draco asked, with a grimace.

"Good morning, I'm here to deliver this repo—am I," Hermione giggled, "interrupting something?"

"Yes, you are," Blaise said, dramatically, with a grin.

"No, fruit basket, she isn't!" Draco said, pushing him away.

Hermione laughed. "Blaise, how are you? It's been far too long."

"That it has been. I saw you yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't greet you then," he responded, embracing her. "It was rude of me."

"Forget about it," she smiled.

"How's Ginny? I saw her yest—ow!" Draco kicked Blaise in the shin.

"Saw her yesterday?" Hermione reiterated.

"I thought I saw her I mean…"

"You know what is strange? This morning she told me the same thing. She says she dreamt up some crazy thing about you being in her room."

"I miss her. Do you think it a good idea for me to see her?"

"A brilliant idea, Blaise," she smiled. "Give me some parchment; you can just apparate to our flat."

As Hermione scribbled down her address, Blaise and Draco silently argued.

'Don't you say anything about the chalk!' Draco mouthed vehemently. 'Dunce!'

Blaise, on the other hand, had his mind on a different fact. 'They live together! No wonder we ended up in Ginny's room!'

"Well here it is," she said.

"You know Granger, it wouldn't kill you to be nice to me," Draco said.

"It would be like suicide," she glared. "So unfortunate he could not be more like you Blaise."

"I agree," Blaise grinned.

"Hey! I'm still here!"

"Anyway, I have to go. Here are the reports your boss wanted about the Death Eaters. Make sure he gets them please. Nice seeing you and I hope to see you cheering up Ginny soon," she winked, once again hugging the boy. With another smile, she left.

"She's an insufferable wench, that one," Draco huffed. "She thinks she can just walk in here and own the place? Well, no! No, she cannot."

"She's looking pretty lately, isn't she?" Blaise asked. "Hermione."

"What? Her? Psht, no! Why, do you think so?"

"Yeah, that's why I brought it up. The war was terrible to her but now that it's all over, she takes care of herself and looks good," he nodded. "Ginny looks more beautiful than I could have ever remembered her, though."

"Please, no sappy romance shit, okay?" Draco sighed.

"You need to get yourself a girl, mate."

"I get a new one each week."

"Stabilize yourself, I mean."

Draco snorted. "Me? Monogamy? That'll be the day."

"You're hopeless," Blaise rolled his eyes. "C'mon, let's get back to work."

* * *

"I'm exhausted," Ginny sighed. "T.M.I.F." 

"Thank what it's Friday?" asked Hermione.

"Thank Merlin, of course."

The brunette smiled. "Of course. Hey, I have a surprise for you but I'm not exactly sure when it is to arrive."

"Really? What is it?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now would it?"

The red head sighed. "Finnneee."

"I'm going to make food," Hermione said.

Ginny nodded and lay down on the couch. She closed her eyes and yawned; Hermione would wake her when the food was ready. The brunette was in the kitchen, taking out all the ingredients needed and she made sure she was going to make enough food for four. Surely, her dream wouldn't come true and Draco would appear with Blaise.

* * *

"Let's just chalk it there," Blaise said. 

"Is that what you're calling it now? **Chalking it**?" Draco asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yes, yes I am. Do I look okay?" he asked, looking at himself in the mirror one last time. "Would you do me if you were a girl?"

Draco rolled his eyes and answered, in an attempt to humor him, "Yes, I'd do you."

"You have smashing taste."

"Thanks."

Draco grabbed a piece of chalk and then went to their selected wall. He put it against the wall and drew a big heart shaped passageway. "See, mine is perfect."

"No, one side is bigger than the other!" Blaise said. "It's not a-symmetrical!"

"You are just envious of my heart."

"Psht, my heart beats yours anyday."

"Yours looked like it got chewed up by a werewolf and spit out!" Draco retaliated.

"We need counseling; we fight too much."

"Not this again. Let's just go," Draco said, pushing on the wall. It quickly disappeared and the two boys stepped through it. They were in a bedroom again but not Ginny's.

"Peeping Passed," Blaise muttered, tapping the wall with this wand. The doorway shut behind them. "What part of the house did you ask for?"

"Granger's room," grinned Draco. "I want to snoop."

"No, you want to find her frilly undies, pervert."

"Go away," the blonde mumbled, as he started opening drawers. "Oh my. A lacey red thong and matching bra. Who would have expected this?"

"Draco, you prat, put it all back!"

"It's sexy, though. Maybe she _is_ looking pretty lately."

"You're gross. C'mon!" Blaise insisted.

Light footsteps were heard approaching the bedroom and Draco quickly flung the undergarments he had taken out back into their significant spots. Blaise gave him an 'I-Told-You-So!' look and the blonde only shrugged and hid behind a big chair. He pulled Blaise down with him.

Hermione yawned as she walked into her room and moaned slightly as she stretched. She had cooked in her witch's robes and regretted it afterward. Her body was craving the comfort of her pajamas and she was going to wear them because frankly, she didn't care if they had visitors or not. Blaise was going to see Ginny and Draco was of no importance. She didn't hate him but it was still fun to fight. He just had no true significance to her.

The brunette hummed lightly to herself as she wiggled out of her robes and sighed in relief when they dropped to the floor. She opened her closet and pulled out a white tank top and striped pajama shorts.

"Merlin's Pinky Toe Ring of Peace…," Draco mumbled. Blaise gave him a funny look and continued to conceal his view. He, in no way, wanted to violate Hermione's privacy. "Look at her butt in those panties!" Blaise nudged him, hard.

Hermione looked around, eyes narrowed, as she pulled on her shirt. She could have sworn she heard a small voice. With a slight shrug, she continued to hum and swayed her hips side to side. She pulled on her shorts and padded off to the kitchen.

"Did you see her?" Draco asked, as he crawled out from behind the chair.

"No! I didn't! I didn't want to see her naked; that's weird!" Blaise answered.

"You're such a party pooper. C'mon, we'll act like we just apparated here or some—"

Draco was cut off short when Hermione appeared in the doorway, throwing her curly hair into a ponytail. The two boys gave each other panicked looks.

"Act like you just apparated here, huh?" she said, calmly finishing off her hair. "So, how long have you been in here?" She twirled her wand in her fingers, waiting patiently for the two boys to create a story that would save their lives.

* * *

**A/N: Hey everyone! This is such a long chapter lol, way longer than I'm used to anyway. I hope you like my story so far. I've realized as I've written that it really is a random ass fic that I throw many funny lines into and am throwing in a mess of romance into. It's totally off the top of my head as I go but I really do have fun writing it. It's random, insane stuff with a bunch of nutty characters that when they get together, funny shit happens. I love Draco and Blaise together; they are the most fun to write. They act like a married couple. Soon enough, Hermione and Draco will be shoved together reluctantly and hopefully, hilarity ensues. Let's see what my brain cooks up next, shall we? ****Also, can you please excuse my use of Spanish? I am Hispanic and I speak Spanish but it's different from the proper Spanish spoken in ****Spain****. The words there are sometimes said differently so I'm trying to stay loyal to that since my Blaise is half Spaniard. Sorry if i do anything un-Spain-ish. Read, _enjoy_, & review! Thanks!**


	3. Hermione's Secrets

Previously:

_Draco was cut off short when Hermione appeared in the doorway, throwing her curly hair into a ponytail. The two boys gave each other panicked looks._

_"Act like you just apparated here, huh?" she said, calmly finishing off her hair. "So, how long have you been in here?" She twirled her wand in her fingers, waiting patiently for the two boys to create a story that would save their lives._

* * *

Draco laughed so nervously that it could have easily been mistaken for a little girl's giggle. "Not long. We just apparated here. I didn't say _'act'_, did I? Silly little old me…"

"Don't lie to me or I will curse you both so bad that you won't even remember your own names!" Hermione said angrily, pointing her wand at them.

"Okay, okay, we got here and **DRACO **watched you change your clothes!" Blaise confessed.

"You can't prove that!" the blonde said in his defense.

"Oh really?" Hermione asked. "So, why, if I may ask, are my red underwear somehow attached to your belt?!"

Draco looked down and sure enough in his frenzy to put away her things, her panties got caught in his belt. "They're mine?"

"Blaise, say goodbye to your little friend," she muttered, pointing her wand directly at his chest. She ripped her underwear from his belt angrily.

"Hermione, sweetheart, there is no need to murder anyone tonight," Blaise said. "Maybe tomorrow?"

"But he was watching me cha—," she was interrupted by another female voice.

"Blaise!" Ginny exclaimed, jumping into his arms. Immediately he caught her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her without hesitation or worry of her reaction.

"Well, if this isn't an example of suppressed animalistic heat then I don't know what is," Draco said.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Let's go. They need some…err…_catching up_ to do."

"Not going to kill me when we're alone?" he asked, as she led him to the kitchen.

"I don't want your limp body lying on my soft, clean rug, thank you."

"Oh, aren't you oh-so witty," Draco said. "Well, look at this! Granger has cooked up a delicious meal. Who knew? Brains and some talent…"

"Don't forget good looks," she smiled as she laid out four plates of food.

"Agreed."

"Did I just receive a full package of compliments from _Draco Malfoy_?"

"Yes but the special is over so I just suggest you forget it ever happened."

"And is the special that includes being civil over as well?" she asked.

Draco grinned. "Most definitely, you wench."

"Thought so. I'll go retrieve the animals."

Draco sat patiently and laughed when he heard Hermione scream, "Oi! Put on your clothes and go eat dinner! This will **NOT** happen in my bedroom!"

A sheepish Ginny and Blaise entered the kitchen, hair in disarray and clothes all crumpled. "We got a little carried away," she whispered, taking a seat.

Hermione came after them, blushing furiously. "Well, that was more than I planned to see for a very long time!"

"Aw, has it been long since you've been graced by the presence of a _real_ man?" Draco questioned.

At this, Ginny let out a loud laugh. "Hermione is graced by men and women more often than you may think!"

"GINEVRA WEASLEY!" Hermione exclaimed, turning an even deeper shade of red.

"Men _and_ women?!" Draco repeated. "Are you kidding?"

"Thanks a lot, Ginny!" the brunette said. "I've lost my appetite and everything."

Blaise was wolfing down his pasta without thinking twice. "C'mon, I knew you were a bisexual ages ago."

"That's only because you caught her in a compromising situation with that muggle girl. What was her name?" Ginny asked.

Glaring, Hermione said, "Cassandra."

"MERLIN'S GLOSSY EYES OF WISDOM, WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING?!" Draco shrieked.

"We kissed once!" Hermione answered quickly.

"That's a lie!" Blaise said. "You were _clearly _having a fantastic time with your head between her legs!"

"BLAISE YOMANINGTON ZABINI!"

Ginny almost fell to the floor with laughter. "No wonder you didn't want to tell me your middle name! _Yomanington_."

"You said you'd take that to the grave, Hermione!"

"You just told everyone I was giving head!"

"Can I join in next time?!" Draco asked, enthusiastically.

Hermione glared at him. "I wouldn't let your naked form come near me or any of my sexual partners, **ever**."

"You're frisky between the sheets aren't you?"

"Okay, that's it," Hermione said. "I'm done. I'm going to go watch the television." With that said, she stood up and went into the living room.

"Were Cassandra's knockers big?" Draco asked once she was gone.

"Merlin, you should have se—hmm, I rather not discuss this," Blaise said once he saw Ginny glaring at him menacingly. "Honey, your knockers are _fantastic_…"

"Okay, time to go," Draco said, getting up. "Off to interrogate Granger."

* * *

Hermione and Draco sat awkwardly on the living room couch. The television was switched on to music videos of girls shaking their bottoms while wearing scandalous bathing suits. Blaise and Ginny were still in the kitchen talking and trying to understand what happened to their relationship. Draco coughed lightly.

"Err…muggle girls are nice," he muttered, staring at the television.

"They're half naked but then again, you're a hot-blooded male, aren't you?" Hermione said.

"You're still sour about the panties and the bisexual fiasco."

"My underwear was hanging off of your belt and frankly, I didn't need you finding out about my sexual orientation that way!"

"Who cares? It's all very sexy!"

Hermione grinned. "I know it is."

"Since when are you so damn cocky?" he asked.

"Since you got all excited about everything you find out about me: my underwear, my body, and my sexual preference."

Draco was about to retaliate when Blaise appeared, clutching Ginny's hand. He squeezed himself next to Draco and pulled the red head onto his lap. Hermione scowled as Draco was pushed closely to her.

"Personal space!" she muttered loudly.

Blaise ignored her. "_Betty La Fea_ is on in five minutes!"

"No, we're not watching that crap!" Draco complained.

"But it's funny," Ginny smiled.

"You can't understand it!" both Draco and Hermione said in unison. They promptly glared at each other.

Ginny stole the remote control from her and switched it to the Spanish channel. "Blaise taught me Spanish in my 6th year."

"So are you two back together or what?" Hermione asked, wriggling in her tight spot from discomfort.

"Yes," Blaise said, while Ginny said, "No." She sighed. "I want to take it slow."

"But I can't see why," Blaise said. "We already care about each other. We might as well enjoy it."

"I just don't want to rush into things; we have our entire lives."

"Whatever. If anyone asks, you're my girl."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "You're so bloody stubborn."

"Oh, Merlin's Wooden Staff of Answers, could you two stop the married couple act?" Draco asked with an annoyed edge to his voice.

The other three eyes him oddly. "_Wooden staff of answers_?" Hermione said again.

"I have a wide imagination…," he mumbled.

"Anyway…oh, it's starting!" said Blaise excitedly. He started singing to the soap opera's theme song.

"This is the weirdest moment of my life," Hermione said, rubbing her temples.

"For once Granger," Draco sighed, "I have to agree with you."

"Okay, well I can't sit here watching something I can't understand. I'm going to my room," Hermione said, standing up.

"I'm going with you wench!" Draco said. Hermione shot daggers at him with her eyes. "Please?" With a large, reluctant sigh, she nodded.

Ginny and Blaise grinned after him. "Do you think it'll happen?" she asked.

"No way…," Blaise answered.

* * *

Hermione walked into her room and took a seat in front of her laptop. Turning it on, it revealed a picture of Harry, Ron, and her when they graduated. She sighed a little sadly and then went straight into the internet to check her email.

"Where is the rest of the dream team anyway?" Draco asked, opening a drawer and looking through her underwear again.

"They're always on missions, finding out about any hidden organizations that still might feel the need to support the Dark Arts…any left over Death Eaters…they're very busy…," she replied, typing away.

He picked up a candle and sniffed it. "They're in love with each other. Always attached by the hip."

"What about you and Blaise?"

"Please, we don't roll that way."

Hermione snorted. "You guys are two inches away from flaming gay."

"Shutup Granger, not everyone is like you."

"You're an intolerable git, did you know?"

"Born and raised, apparently," he muttered.

Draco dropped an earring he was observing and it rolled under the bed. Glancing at Hermione, he quietly got down to get it. While he was getting the earring, his eyes caught sight of a raggedy shoe box but it was obvious that there was something more interesting inside than shoes. Curiosity got the better of him and he pulled it out silently. He sat on her bed and almost fell over laughing when he saw its contents.

"Why not just have the real thing?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione said, spinning her chair around. Sure enough, Draco was clutching her box of sexual toys.

"I'm hung like a hippogriff, if you're that desperate. You don't need this."

Now she was blushing furiously once again. "Okay, give me back the box. I've been humiliated enough today."

"Wow, there is a magazine in here too. You are a saucy little witch, aren't you?"

"Malfoy, give it to me!" she yelled, lunging at him.

"Do you use them often?" Draco asked, pushing her off.

"Hand them over!"

"Are you horny everyday, is that the case?"

Hermione jumped on him, tackling him to the bed. He was holding on to the box with dear life as she frantically tried to pull it out of his grasp. Draco grinned and flipped her over, into her back. He put the box aside and pinned her arms down.

"What is it you pretend to do?!" Hermione screamed.

"Quench your obviously unsatisfied sexual desires," Draco answered, leaning down to kiss her.

She pulled one of her hands free, grabbed a vibrator from her box, and slapped him with it. "You will **NOT** be kissing me, you pig!"

"I don't know if I should be disgusted of aroused because it's been inside of you."

Hermione hit him again and pushed him off. "I thought you hated me!"

"Sweetheart, I've seen you in underwear, found out you were bisexual, and came upon your box of toys. What is there to hate?!"

"You are an idiot!" she yelled, throwing the vibrator at his eye.

"OW, YOU POKED IT OUT!"

"Good, you bastard!"

"No," said Draco. "I'm serious. I think you hit it really bad. Check it out, please."

Hermione sighed at his sincerity and cupped his face. "Move your hand and let me see…"

The minute Draco removed his hand, he lunged at Hermione and tried to kiss her again. This time, she started throwing numerous toys at him.

"I am **NEVER** going to let you kiss me, you asshole!"

Draco laughed. "Ah, you are a riot when angry."

"That's it! Get out of my house!"

"But I'm not here alone. What about Blaise?"

"Aw, what is it honey? Can't find your way home?" she mocked.

"Oh, how funny," he said sarcastically, throwing a dildo at her.

Hermione threw one at him and next thing they knew, there was a full blown war between the both of them consisting of toys.

"What is going on in here?" Ginny asked, running in with Blaise.

"It's a…a Dildo War," Blaise muttered, eyebrow raised.

"Oh, this is so utterly embarrassing…," Hermione sighed.

"I think we should go Blaise," suggested Draco.

"Right," he said. Sighing, he kissed Ginny. "I'll see you soon."

"We're Apparating, right?" asked Draco.

"Psht, no…," he answered. Blaise pulled out a piece of chalk and started to draw on Hermione's wall.

"What in bloody hell are you doing?!" she screamed.

Blaise ignored her and pushed on the wall. The portal opened, leaving a dumbfounded Ginny and Hermione.

"Explain yourself," Ginny said.

"Magic chalk draws doorways to wherever you want," he answered.

"I want one! You guys owe me for humiliating me today!" Hermione insisted.

"Fuck you!" Draco said.

"Shutup!" Blaise ordered, exasperated. "Look, I'll give you one only because we're all going to be around each other a lot from now on."

"What makes you think that?" Draco asked.

"Ginny and him, you imbecile," answered Hermione.

"Okay, that's it. Draco, go through," Blaise said.

With a shrug and a final glare at Hermione, he went through the hole in the wall. Blaise sighed deeply and went through, tapped the wall and said, 'Peeping Passed'.

* * *

**A/N: Forgive me? I'm so sorry. I really didn't intend on taking so long. My mind was on total and complete lock. May was a bit of a difficult month, and the weeks after that didn't get any easier. It was almost as if I couldn't find the "funny" in me, you know? I had no humor to write. With help of my unofficial beta, Cassy, whom I give a bit of a dedication to somewhere in the chapter, I was able to get motivated and she's hilarious, so together I think we're pretty fucking funny. I've also, once again, incorporated bisexuality into Hermione's character. I think it makes her more interesting and more prone to funny moments. This chapter has a lot of profanity lol, I don't know, some people may be a little sensitive towards it. But hey, it's funny. Thank you guys for reading. I'll try to stay loyal. Thanks for reading, reviewing, and hopefully **_**enjoying**_


	4. Touching Silva

Draco leafed through some papers at work the next day. He was so utterly bored and Blaise was busy at the time; he wasn't doing anything important but instead was receiving a 'special visit' from Ginny. The blonde rolled his eyes when he heard a moan coming from his friend's office.

The previous day at Granger's flat had proven to be a lot more fun than he had been anticipating for. He had no idea that she had so many secrets and, dare he say, they were so fantastic. Imagining her with other women only resulted in him having lustful images of the curly haired girl. He couldn't help it; he was all man. Now that he had all these new facts on Granger, shagging her sounded so good. Besides, a girl with _that_ many toys must not get fucked enough. He felt that it was his **duty** as a good samaritan to help her overcome these minor issues. What's more, she looked sexy in her underwear. Those frilly red things were sounding more and more excellent by the second.

"I haven't gotten ass in almost two weeks," he muttered to himself. "That must be the reason for not being able to remove Granger from my mind. Maybe I should go talk to the Minister's sexy secretary…she digs me."

Standing up, he headed for his door but it was opened before he even got there.

"What're you doing here Granger? Weasley's in the other room and Merlin knows, you both can't be absent from that bloody hospital."

"I had no idea you were so concerned about the smooth flow at St. Mungo's. If you must know, Ginny is on break, explaining why Blaise is currently inhaling her. Me, I had to bring in more paper work for your boss about the Death Eaters so, here I am. There are other people that help in the Mental Ward, you know?" Hermione explained, holding a folder of papers to her chest.

"Why thank you for telling me your whole life story," he said.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Let me pass and I'll be out of your hair quickly."

"Ah, come now Granger, you can stay for a while if there are others."

"You were just heading out; don't you have to go?" she asked.

"No. I was going to flirt with a secretary and maybe get a quickie in the bathroom but why should I go?" Draco grinned. "I have _you_ here, don't I?"

"I don't want to think about what you're trying to imply but whatever it is, I say you forget about it and go find that foxy little secretary."

"You've seen her then! Isn't her bum absolutely fantastic?"

Hermione blushed slightly. "Well…yes…Oh, bloody hell, I have to give these papers in!"

She ran off into Draco's boss' office and came back out a few minutes later. Draco was now sitting on his table, making a paper airplane.

"Granger, stay a while. I'm **so** fucking bored!" he _almost_ pleaded.

"Unlike you Malfoy, my job does indeed include work."

"C'mon. Don't be such a goody-goody; not that you are, you Dildo Queen."

"That's it, I'm leaving!" Hermione said, heading towards the door.

Draco quickly got up and grabbed her arm. "Okay, I take that back. Just take a seat and I promise to act civil."

She sighed and it was obvious she was throwing her options around in her head. Draco grinned when she finally took a seat and he sat down opposite her.

"They'll have my head if they find out I'm here," she sighed again, crossing her legs. Draco let his eyes roam her silky tan legs; a skirt never looked so good.

"If I had known in Hogwarts all the nice things you hid under that robe I would have cornered you in a bathroom."

"Where is the civil-ness you promised?" Hermione asked, eyebrow raised.

"I'm complime—," Draco stopped. "Hold that thought; the master calls to his slave." He rolled his eyes and entered his boss' office.

Hermione shrugged and tapped her fingers against his desk patiently. Her eyes scanned his cluttered office and she understood how dull and restricting it must feel to be in there all day. Sighing, she stood up and decided to be nosy; she started to look through the drawers in his desk. She had to stifle a laugh.

"Wanking Wizards Weekly?" she said to herself. On the cover of the magazine, was a blonde girl, dressed in pink lingerie and wearing a pink cat tail and pink cat ears. Her oversized, and obviously fake, breasts were nearly spilling out. Her overly made up face kept winking and blowing kisses.

Hermione couldn't help it. She sat in his squishy chair and started flipping through the pages. Her eyes almost bulged out when she saw a beautiful brunette touching herself. Would it be important to mention that since this was a magazine for the magical community that the pictures were indeed moving? Hermione felt herself blushing to the roots and at the same time, feeling quite warm all over.

"This is very inappropriate…," she said to herself over and over but still didn't put down the magazine. She started to bite her bottom lip feverishly as she observed two petite girls kissing roughly. "But oh so enthralling…"

She squeezed her thighs hard and continued to chew on her lip. "Maybe a trip to the bathroom…no, no, no, what am I thinking? I have to be professional!" She looked down and through her shirt, you could see her slight arousal. "Damn you satanic nipples!"

"Sorry about that Granger," she heard Draco say as he came back. She panicked and tried hiding the magazine but it was too late. The blonde was smirking at her and her breasts. "Having fun?"

"N-No! I just…I found it by mistake…I…you're a pervert for having this!"

"You were about to start touching yourself in my office. I suggest you keep that comment to yourself," he continued to smirk. "Ah, that's my favorite edition. Did you see the brunette?"

"Yes!" she said with a little too much excitement.

"I see that you enjoyed her as much as I did," Draco grinned. He went behind her chair and put his hands on her shoulders. Slowly, he started to massage her. "Relax; you're tense…"

"Malfoy, I should go…," she mumbled. His hands were strong but delicate and she was enjoying it far more than she should have.

"Don't resist pet," Draco whispered into her ear. He now caressed her arms and neck gently. "You need to be satisfied and I can offer you what no one else has been able to." His hands slowly found their way to her chest and before she knew it, he was cupping her breasts.

"Draco Malfoy!" she screeched, slapping him. "I may be horny but I am not going to let you degrade me! Goodbye!"

The blonde held his hand up to his cheek and grinned as she stormed out.

* * *

"Hey Ginny, ready to go?" Hermione asked, as she grabbed her coat and slipped it on. 

The red head nodded. "Yes; let me just grab my things. So, Blaise told _me_ that Draco told _him_ that you had quite the sexual encounter."

"Please, let's forget about it. I found a sex magazine and then he caught me all flushed…to make a long story short, it ended with him grabbing my breasts and me slapping him."

Ginny laughed. "You two are precious. We can cut the sexual tension with a knife."

"Sexual tension? Don't kid like that. Sometimes he can be quite civil but for the most part Malfoy is a sexual animal looking to satisfy my 'sexual thirst'. Just because I don't deny my body what it asks for does not mean I am not satisfied."

"Don't lie! You've told me countless times that you have never gotten a real orgasm from a man!"

Hermione blushed for the twentieth time that day. "Any louder Ginny…I am perfectly fine giving _myself_ an orgasm and finding comfort in talented women as well."

"I don't know Hermione," Ginny said in a sing-song voice. "Malfoy may just be man enough for you."

"I doubt that," she snorted. "I don't want to sound all posh about my sex life but I am very hard to satisfy and truthfully, women know me better than men. Boys are clueless nowadays. Ron was **especially **clu—"

"I believe you've crossed the line, bringing him up. He's so busy working with Harry I doubt either of them will _ever_ learn to satisfy."

"I know two gay men when I see them but no one wants to believe me!"

"I don't want to believe it because that means that we are the cause of their homosexuality," Ginny said.

Hermione rolled her eyes and laughed. "Let's just go home."

"Sure. By the way, we're invited over to Blaise and Malfoy's for a movie night."

"Oh, bloody hell."

* * *

Hermione drew a regular shaped doorway in her living room that led to the living room in Blaise and Draco's flat. She and Ginny were clad in their most comfortable pajamas. It was a Friday and they were watching movies; they saw no use in dressing up. Hermione pushed on the wall and grinned when the piece disappeared. 

"We're here," Ginny said, walking through. She smiled when she saw Blaise wearing his pajamas as well. "We could have a slumber party!"

Hermione snorted. "Fat chance. Where's Malfoy?"

"Miss me Granger?" said a drawling voice. She turned to see Draco wearing navy blue pajama pants and nothing else. He was incredibly pale but it suited him wonderfully. He was nowhere near as muscular as Blaise but he had a subtly toned chest and stomach. Hermione noticed that he was chewing on a silver chain with a sort of snake dangling from it. "I look good, don't I?"

"D-Don't flatter yourself."

"Stammering already?" he grinned.

"Alright, we'll prevent the fighting and future hexes right now. Come with me Draco. You and Ginny are going to help me prepare some snacks," Blaise said. "Nachos and cheese; I know you like that. C'mon. Hermione, you get the movie. Draco's room is down the hall, make a left, and it's the door to the right. Don't mistake it with the bathroom on the left. In his closet, to the left, are the DVDs. Pick any of them."

Draco winked at Hermione and let himself be dragged away. Sighing, she headed to his bedroom.

"Um, okay…," she muttered, as she made her way. "Walk down…left…right?...Yes, right…"

Hermione entered his room and was surprised at how tidy the Slytherin actually was. She had always pinned him as a slob and pig. His walls were, surprisingly, navy blue and gray. She was stunned to not see much green anywhere. Shrugging, she opened his closet door and there were two plastic boxes filled with movies: one to the left and one to the right.

"Oh, bugger. Which did he say? I can't remember! To the right? Yes…I believe he said to the right. Damn you Blaise and your twisted instructions. What can the difference be anyway?" Shrugging again, she opened the box on the right and sifted through the movies. "Oh. This one sounds interesting. 'Touching Silva'. Sounds like it could be a romance. Alright, good enough for me."

Hermione took the movie, closed the box, and headed back to the living room.

"What did you choose?" Ginny asked. She was currently sitting next to Blaise on the floor, under a thick blanket. Draco was apparently still in the kitchen because Blaise forced him to serve the drinks.

"Something called 'Touching Silva'."

"Never heard of it," the red head commented. "Put it on."

Hermione slipped the DVD on and sat on the couch. She grabbed a spare blanket that they had brought and wrapped herself up in it. "Why is it so dark?"

"That guy looks like Malfoy," Ginny muttered, squinting her eyes. "Naked?"

"Ginny, cover your eyes!" Blaise almost screeched.

"No, I want to see what this is about!"

"Let's just take this off!" he said, getting up. Ginny pulled him back down.

"What is going on?!" Hermione asked, scandalized.

On the screen, Draco was kissing a girl and both were naked. "Tell the camera your name baby…," he whispered.

"Silva," she giggled, flicking her dirty blonde hair back.

"Look at his…," Hermione started.

"It's HUGE!" Ginny yelled.

"That's it!" Blaise said, covering her eyes.

"What is all the uproar about?" Draco said, strolling in. He was levitating a huge plate of nachos and cheese and four drinks in front of him. "What movie did you pick?"

"'Touching Silva'!" Blaise yelled. "Take it off!"

Draco dropped everything he had hovering and ran over to the television. He quickly took out the movie. "I thought you told Granger to choose from the box to the left!"

"Whoops. Misinterpretation of mine?" Hermione laughed nervously.

"I'm surprised you didn't catch that plate of nachos with that third arm of yours!" Ginny said boldly.

"Agreed. I guess you _are_ hung like a hippogriff!"

"Okay, enough of this. We either forget this ever happened and watch another movie or call it off," said Blaise, finally uncovering Ginny's eyes.

"_**I'll **_get the movie," Draco said. Shaking his head, he went to put away 'Touching Silva' and get another film.

Hermione was crimson by the time he came back and put in the new movie. Blaise and Ginny had cleaned up the mess but all she could do was think about Draco in that compromising position. He was bigger than any man she had ever been with. To make matters worse, he sat on the couch with her and she had the last blanket.

"Granger, sharing is caring," he said.

"Go get another one! You were just in your room!" Hermione muttered hotly.

"I'm not getting up again; it's starting."

She sighed and even gave a whining whimper. "Fine!"

Draco had to nearly force it from her. He moved closer to her and neatly draped it across them both. Not thirty minutes had passed before both Ginny and Blaise had submerged under their blanket.

"I guess we are virtually alone," Draco commented. An evil glint was starting to shine in his eyes.

"That means absolutely nothing," she sighed, not turning away from the movie.

His hand found his way to her bare thigh; she was wearing those damned pajama shorts again. Draco started drawing stars and hearts gently. Hermione knew better than to react and therefore, stared fixated at the television screen. The blonde moved closer and inched his hand farther up.

"Are you nervous?" he whispered into her ear, lips grazing them.

"Not even a little."

Draco's hand reached the hem of her shorts and he tugged them. Hermione's face was starting to feel warm but she let on no inclination of her sudden change in temperature.

"Are you nervous?"

"You'll never have the ability."

The blonde smirked against her ear and slipped his hand under her pants. He caressed her inner thigh painstakingly slow and Hermione's eyes lidded slightly.

"Let me rephrase the question:** How** nervous are you?"

"Forget about it Draco."

"Draco, ey?" he repeated. "I guess when _Hermione_ is feeling frisky she confuses names."

He continued to rise his hand up and when he reached her knickers, Hermione gave a slight jump and pushed his hand out.

"I-I should go!" she said in a high-pitched voice. "I'll leave the portal open Ginny. Goodnight!" Like a scared mouse, she ran off.

Immediately Ginny removed the blanket from her and Blaise. "We stopped making out ages ago; it's much more interesting to listen to you two!"

"She'll give in," Draco grinned.

"Hermione's never had a man give her an orgasm, you know?" Ginny divulged without hesitation.

"Really?" both Blaise and Draco said.

The blonde's grin widened. "I'll be glad to be of assistance."

Ginny kissed Blaise one last time. "I should go. I wouldn't want to walk into her masturbating like I have in the past; I rather just say goodnight now. Night boys."

She stood up and walked through the doorway. She tapped the wall and said 'Peeping Passed' but nothing happened. Eyebrows raised high, she tried again.

"Hermione!"

The brunette came running back with a confused face. "What is it?"

"It won't close; you try."

"Peeping Passed." Nothing.

Ten minutes later, all four of them had tried countless times to close the doorway but it did not seal.

"Blaise, please tell me that man didn't say something about this…," Draco said.

"Um…," he started, scratching his head. "Oh, yeah! If you connect the same two places multiple times in a series of consecutive days the portal won't seal!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Hermione exclaimed.

"I'm sorry! I forgot!"

"Oh bloody hell! Now what?" Draco asked.

"We'll close it using magic," Ginny said logically.

"It won't work; it's a portal way and the singular way of closing it was by saying 'Peeping Passed' while tapping it with your wand. There's no other solution," Blaise sighed, feeling guilty.

"We're screwed," Hermione sighed. "We'll have to do something else."

Hermione conjured a curtain that would separate both sides. It wasn't the best idea but it was practical and it kept everything private. Besides, they were all aware that they were connected by living rooms so the privacy factor wasn't that high.

"That'll have to do," Draco muttered.

"I guess we're neighbors," said Ginny.

"Yeah," Hermione grumbled. "Hello neighbors."

"Well, look at the bright side! We're only steps away!" Blaise offered. The other three glared at him. "Never mind. Goodnight."

Hermione pulled the curtain closed vehemently and went to her bedroom, dreading the next day.

* * *

**Author's Note****: I'm being a good girl and updating! Well, I can't give enough thanks to my beta Cassy. She's the funny to my jokes. She seriously supplies me with the funniest bits ever and together, we are a singular comical genius, lol. Anyways, I have a new story up as many of you may have noticed called "On the Radio". Very original in my eyes and I'll have a new chapter up for that soon. Thanks for reading, and hopefully enjoying and reviewing!**


	5. Opposites Attract

A week had passed by and the portal way had only become a great nuisance in Hermione's life; Draco and Blaise developed the _sweet_ little habit of going into their apartment and rummaging all locations for food. Draco, if anything, had become even more annoying; he was still persisting Hermione to sleep with him and used any chance to pounce on her. Ginny was, of course, more than delighted to have her boyfriend around all day, almost as if they were living together. Therefore, Hermione made it her duty to leave the house and have her own fun whenever she was free, and fun she found.

"What are you getting all dolled up for?" Blaise asked. Ginny and he were sitting on the couch watching the television while she had her legs draped across his.

"I'm having a visitor over," Hermione replied with a smile. She put on mascara and a bit of lip gloss. Frowning slightly at her wild, untamable tendrils, she left them as they were.

"Who the **hell** is coming to visit you?" Draco said, stuffing a handful of potato chips into his mouth and chewing obnoxiously. He was currently sitting on the kitchen counter wearing no shirt. He burped. "I bet it's a loser from the library."

She merely laughed. "You're going to be quite stunned Malfoy." Slipping on her heels, she looked sheepish. "Is it too much, Ginny?"

"No, go all out! You don't want this person to be under whelmed, do you?"

"Of course not," the brunette said, "but I must admit, I've stunned he—oh, someone's apparated outside the door!"

Quickly glancing one last time in the mirror, she hurried over to the door and pulled it open. "Hello!"

Draco immediately hopped off of the counter and peeped around the doorway, still munching on his chips. "Bloody hell! It's a girl!" The bag of potato chips fell and spilled on the floor. "Fuck Granger; let me get in on that!"

Ginny and Blaise continued watching the television as if nothing happened; they were quite used to the act of Hermione being with women. Draco, on the other hand, was a new comer and was still excited by it all.

Hermione threw the blond a dirty look. "Excuse him; he's rude and behaves like a zoo animal."

She chuckled. "It's alright…"

Draco was still staring intently at both of them. The woman was tall and thin. She was fair skinned but her other dark features paled her slightly. Her hair was short and choppy, up to the base of her neck, and was the shade of ebony. Her eyes were a smoldering black and they seemed to be able to search every part of a person. Full, naturally red lips gave her a sultry look, accompanied by a permanent smirk. Her voice and laugh were low, seductive. She was wearing a body fitting plaid shirt with many buttons undone, tight skinny jeans, and all white Converse. She was androgynous but beautiful all the same.

"Come; I want you to meet everyone. The dog's name is Draco," Hermione said, rolling her eyes at him. Spencer extended her hand and as he shook it, he got the nastiest vibe from her. "This is Blaise and Ginny. Everyone, this is Spencer…my girlfriend." As greetings were exchanged, Draco kept narrowed eyes on her.

"You're _what_?!" Draco exclaimed. "No, no, no, see; you two look like polar opposites!"

"Opposites attract," Spencer grinned. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"No, you crazy lesbian!"

"DRACO MALFOY!" Hermione scolded. "Either respect her or get out!"

"Ah, a Malfoy, no wonder," said Spencer.

"Don't you talk about my family!"

"Then don't talk about my sexual orientation like that."

Draco crossed his arms. "Granger, I thought you had more sense than this. I enjoy your vagina love but I do not appreciate this so-called Spencer. She gives me the heebie-jeebies!" From a distance, they could hear Ginny and Blaise laughing.

"Jealous, much?" Hermione asked.

"Jealous?! Of your relationship?!" Draco sputtered, laughing. "You're quite the comedian!"

"I don't see anyone laughing."

"Babe, just let it go," Spencer said, wrapping her arms around her waist. "All that matters is me and you…" She laid a kiss on Hermione's jaw and Draco coughed loudly; he did not like feeling aroused and angry at the same time. It was much too confusing!

"C'mon," Hermione said. "I want to be alone with you…" Grabbing hold of Spencer's hand, she led her into her bedroom.

"I'm outraged!" Draco said, sitting across from Ginny and Blaise. "And now extremely horny!"

Ginny gave him an odd look. "Ignoring the last comment…why do you even care?" she asked. "Last thing we all knew, you were dying for Hermione to get a girlfriend so you could 'bask' in it. Besides that, you never gave a flying snitch about what occurred in her life."

"I don't! I just don't want to hear her mouth later on when that Spencer chic has broken her heart!"

"How are you so sure that's going to happen mate?" said Blaise.

"You're kidding, right?" Draco said. "I am a player; of course I can spot one from a mile away!"

"You're exaggerating! Maybe Hermione was right; you're jealous!"

"You're all delusional!"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Well, if you ARE jealous and you just don't want to admit it, you better get a move on!"

"You're an insane red head," Draco said, pointing a finger at her. "You know what? I'm going to go talk seriously to Granger. She needs to date a naughty bookworm, much like herself. Spencer is not only pure evil but will probably not let me watch!"

Blaise sighed and shook his head. "Sure, if you say so. Go on, you lunatic."

The blond held his head up high and headed towards Hermione's room—half determined and half sexually driven. He pressed his ear against the door and he heard the bed creaking loudly and words being exchanged.

"Spencer! Not so far up!" Hermione said.

"Oh please, I can do as I wish. Besides, don't act like you don't enjoy seeing me do this."

"Don't flatter yourself even though you are rather good! Oh! That one was _really _fantastic! I didn't know you knew tricks!"

Excitement ran through his veins. His hand grasped the doorknob and he hesitated; he might be walking into his life long fantasy. Gorgeous women, groping each other, pulling him into a world of sex, sweat, carnal desire…

Wrenching the door open, his eyes widened at the scene in front of him and his jaw dropped.

Hermione and Spencer were jumping on the bed.

"I have the largest hard-on of my LIFE and this is what I get it off?!" Draco exclaimed, pointing at his crotch.

"Malfoy, what do you think you are doing?" Hermione asked, exasperated.

"He's here to watch a show," Spencer said before he can answer, her voice filling the entire room. That voice was just so entrancing and even a little rough around the edges. It oozed sex in all ways.

"Show?" he grinned lopsidedly instead of retorting angrily.

"Of course. You're here for that, right? Not in some silly attempt to convince Hermione that I'm not true to her, _right_?"

Draco could almost smell the bribe in the air. It was very obvious to him at the moment; she knew that he could read her and vice versa. It was hard to admit, but they were very much alike in their attitudes. All they wanted was enjoyment and no commitment, even though they lied and acted to their partners as if they did.

"He is getting no show!" Hermione said.

"Don't be so frigid," Spencer whispered into her ear. Her voice seemed to intoxicate Hermione and the brunette's eyes lidded slightly. Spencer slid her hand up her shirt while the other hand played with the hem of her pants.

Draco was aroused, there was no doubt about it, but at the same time felt guilty. Spencer was basically forcing Hermione into it even if she wasn't pushing her away. Hermione was almost hypnotized by her girlfriend and it was kind of sick. Spencer was now pulling off Hermione's shirt and at this point, Draco didn't want to see this anymore.

"Granger! GRANGER!"

Hermione seemed to snap out of her daze. "Oh, I…we really shouldn't Spencer, not while he's here." Spencer seemed to glare at Draco a bit. He had turned down the bribe.

"Put on your shirt, Granger. We'll talk later." Draco locked eyes with her and then turned away, leaving.

* * *

Draco was drinking soda while sitting next to Blaise and Ginny; they were watching _Betty La Fea_ and even though he hated it, there was nothing else to do and he did not fancy being home by himself. Besides, he was waiting for Spencer to leave so he could speak to Hermione. 

What he saw next left him thinking deeply about the entire situation and from that moment on, he knew he would never trust Spencer again.

Spencer was walking towards the door, holding Hermione's hand. Hermione's lips were slightly parted and her eyes were lidded again but this wasn't the shocking part. She was clad in her underwear while Spencer was fully dressed, grinning wide. It was obvious she enjoyed putting Hermione in these situations that she would never put herself in. The million dollar question was how is it that Spencer made Hermione do these things? Draco wanted to know and he would find out.

"Hermione?" Ginny said, eyes wide. The brunette didn't budge and now Spencer was pulling her into a sensual kiss while grabbing her bottom.

Blaise followed. "Hello! What are you doing?!"

Draco glared at Spencer. "Granger!" he barked.

Hermione quickly pulled away and blushed crimson. "Oh my…um, I have to get dressed darling. See you soon, okay?" She kissed Spencer once more and then she finally left. She quickly ran into her room to put her clothes back on.

Draco shook his head and went after her. "You can't honestly tell me you don't find something odd in her."

"Malfoy, I don't know what has gotten into you lately. Spencer is amazing and you know what, who cares if maybe she makes me let some of my inhibitions go? Haven't you been saying for ages that I'm absolutely prude?" Hermione asked.

He couldn't help but grin. "I stopped calling you that the minute I saw your sexy underwear."

"Whatever; just leave us alone okay?"

"In all seriousness, the minute she speaks to you in a certain tone, you get all stupid and do whatever she asks! It's probably dark magic or something!"

"Of course you would know; you _were_ a deatheater for a while," Hermione said coldly.

"I see how it is Granger. I'm trying to help you!" he said, rolling his eyes.

"I don't need your fucking help! I'm grown up enough, thank you!"

"Screw this! Just let me in on a threesome, alright? That fucking player is going to break your heart soon and I want to enjoy this stupidity you call a relationship atleast a little!"

Hermione slapped him. "Don't step foot into this flat ever again!"

"I hope it stings when she breaks you." With that said, he left her room and went through the portal way.

* * *

"Can I please ask what the hell is up with you?" Blaise asked, walking into Draco's room an hour later. 

"I was trying to help," he answered through gritted teeth. "Spencer is a creep."

"You don't even know her personally. Okay, Hermione walked out in her underwear but seriously, after all you've learned about the true her, is it really that outrageous?"

"Yes! Yes it is!" Draco said. "Granger is sexually driven, yes that is true, but she is not a whore. There's a difference Blaise! And not only did she walk out like that but when I was in her room, she was letting Spencer undress her in front of me! Does that sound like Granger to you???"

Blaise sighed. "Maybe she's just letting herself have some fun."

"No, there's something wrong with this. Spencer talks a certain way and BAM, Hermione does whatever she asks. Its dark magic, mate."

"Draco, you're exaggerating! I think you actually **are** jealous! Do you fancy Hermione or something?!"

"Fuck this shit! I can't just be concerned that a lunatic witch is taking advantage of her?!"

"You never have! You usually would laugh at this!"

"Maybe I just know that Granger deserves better than this! She deserves someone who gives a fuck because despite the fact that she gets on my damn nerves, she is downright sexy and intelligent! Spencer won't, and never will, appreciate her!"

Blaise stared at him in awe. "Draco…you _do_ fancy her."

"Get out of my room Blaise. I need to think of a way to get this bitch away from her."

"C'mon, just admit—"

"Out!"

Blaise shook his head and left.

Draco laid on his bed, thinking. _Spencer's voice is key in this entire mystery. I'm convinced it's dark magic. Tomorrow, I'm going to the library and looking this shit up. What's also odd is that Granger didn't respond when the Weasel and Blaise were calling out to her; only when I did. That's interesting…and gives my stomach a funny feeling. I must have diarrhea because this cannot be a reaction to Granger's response to me. I don't fancy Granger. Sue me if I don't want to hear her nagging voice say how she's heart broken. After Spencer she can look for someone who truly cares. I've always been a good judge of character and Spencer doesn't care about her. _He sighed. _**Why**__ do I care so much? Shouldn't I be amused? At this point, I can't deny that Granger has grown on me and I know I have on her. We're around each other too much lately and almost always alone because Blaise and Weasley are together. I blame this on the fact that Granger is sexy and I want to fuck her brains out. Then again…Spencer did say opposites attract and after seeing her and Granger together, who could deny it? Whatever, just because I'm attracted to her, doesn't mean I fancy her. Right? Right. This situation only gets weirder and weirder. All I want is for her to not get hurt. Blimey, that sounds weird coming from me. No wonder everyone is freaking out._

_Oh, bloody hell. I fancy Granger, don't I?_

_And to think…this all started because I told Blaise to draw a hole in the wall, leading me to her, forever changing my life._

_Fuck Draco, pull yourself together. That was cheesy._

_I need to stop talking to myself._

* * *

**Author's Note****: Sorry for the wait guys! Gosh, I'm being a bad writer. I'm trying but my brain is extremely sluggish. I know "On the Radio" is going slow too but I couldn't update that one before doing that here first. Also, as you can see, the chapter is a bit more serious than the others but I still try to stick in the funny.**

**I want to dedicate this chapter and every chapter in this story from now on to one of my best friends, Cassy. She is my muse and basically the second author to this story. I've found that I'm more inspired when she's talking to me and I write a lot faster. Also, she gives me a bundle of ideas. She helps me with my ideas and also helps me develop much of the comedy. Without her, this story wouldn't be what it is. Thank you Cassy, for listening to me ramble and answering my questions on what I should do next. You're awesome.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed and reviewed! Thanks for reading!**


	6. Dirty Little Secret

Hermione woke up many days after the Spencer-Draco incident feeling just as angry. She couldn't understand why she let Draco get under her skin to this day. Everything he said about her girlfriend, she felt she should dismiss, but she couldn't.

"Maybe he was right," she muttered to herself, getting out of bed and heading towards the shower. "No, of course not. Spencer and I are amazing together."

After taking a long shower and contemplating Draco's bizarre motives and behavior, she finished getting ready for work and headed into the kitchen. "Morning Gin."

"Morning. How are you feeling today?" she asked, pouring Hermione and herself a mug of hot tea.

"I just can't get stupid Malfoy off of my mind. I can't see why either; he hasn't come by since we fought. Has Blaise said anything?"

"Not a thing," Ginny answered, sipping her drink. "Didn't you tell Malfoy not to come back anyway?"

"I didn't think the arrogant prick would ever actually listen to me. He must be living off of water and bread. Those two never have any food."

"I wouldn't think so. I'm pretty sure Blaise has snuck over some of what you cook whenever he can."

Hermione snorted. "Should have told me so I could sprinkle it with rat poison."

"Well, you can think of more ways of Malfoy murder on the way to work. Let's go."

--

"Blaise! Blaise!" Draco yelled, bursting into the brown haired boy's office. He dropped a thick leather bound book onto his desk and flipped it open to a bookmarked page.

"Are you serious right now?" Blaise said, staring at the page's title—Inducing Dark Magic With Your Voice.

"Dead serious. It says that if you perform this very complicated spell you will be able to control any person you want with your voice. Only those who trust you can be placed under your control."

Blaise stared at him. "Draco, I know that fancying Hermione has completely made you bonkers, but listen to me. Spencer is not using dark magic."

"Why are you on that girl's side? Fine, if you don't believe me, listen to this: The person being put under the spell will only respond to the person who is their true soul mate. Blaise, she only responds to me!"

After this, there was a long pause, which was followed by Blaise bursting into a mirthful laugh. "Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger soul mates? Are you kidding me?! Even you can't really believe that crock."

Draco actually pouted at this. "Blaise, are you on your period today? Why are you being mean and unromantic?"

"Because mate, you want to break these girls up on a very small base of facts. I mean, yes, the whole thing does seem pretty probable but you only saw them together once. Don't you think you should give the whole thing some time? Better yet, why don't you go apologize to Hermione? I think they are catching on to the fact that I steal food for you."

"But-But," Draco muttered. His face had taken on a very childish look. "I like Granger and her food. _Me gusta Granger_." (I like Granger.)

At this, Blaise couldn't help but squeal and clap. "You used Spanish! Aw, you are serious!"

"Yes, I am serious! I think I lost 2 pounds from lack of nutrients."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, just go apolo—oh shitter! I hear our master coming! Take this thing and be gone before we get fired!"

Draco scrambled to his feet and grabbed the book, quickly scurrying from Blaise's office and into his own. Even after helping in the defeat of Voldemort, the thing that scared them most was their boss.

--

That night, Blaise went over to Ginny and Hermione's flat for his usual everyday visit, leaving Draco alone again. The blond argued with himself for a long time before deciding whether he should go apologize or not. Finally giving in to his own desires, he crossed the small threshold that separated their apartments.

"Hey Weasley," he muttered, as the red head caught sight of him and gave him an odd look.

"Fancy seeing you here Malfoy. Hermione's in her room, and no, Spencer isn't there," she said, giving him a quick smile before walking into the living room.

"Err, thanks," he shrugged, heading towards the brunette's bedroom. He knocked twice and waited for her answer.

"Come on in," her distracted voice said.

When Draco walked in, he saw that Hermione was scribbling away on a piece of parchment. Finally looking up, her eyes darkened at the sight of him. "What do you want?"

"A truce," he answered, staring at the floor.

"Why should I give you that?" Hermione asked, rolling up the letter and attaching it to the leg of a grey owl that belonged to Ginny.

"Well, first off, I'm losing weight because of lack of food. Give me some pity here."

"Ah, there's the Malfoy I know. Not the sap that stares at the floor while asking for truces."

Draco gasped. "You should be so lucky!"

"That you're kissing my ass?" she giggled. "If that is what you consider luck, then I've no interest in seeing what you think unlucky is."

"Oh yes, laugh it up Granger."

"I will, for two reasons my dear Malfoy. You miss me, and I'm getting laid while you are not. If you ask me, I should be laughing it up."

"Lack of ass in my bed is my choice entirely!" Draco said in defense. "I can get any girl I want! And me missing you? Did I not just say I was hungry? I miss your food!"

"You are a horrible liar, did you know?" grinned Hermione. "Say it! Say you miss me or be banished and never again eat my food! That includes what Blaise steals for you!"

"I don't miss you wench!"

Hermione doubled over laughing. "Oh, fighting with you is rich. I will admit, I did miss this nonsensical banter between us."

"Yes, well…feed me woman!" Draco ordered, crossing his arms over his chest. "And while you are at it, do it naked."

"Maybe I didn't miss it that much." With smirks playing on their lips, they both headed to the kitchen.

"Malfoy, is there any possible way you can play nice this weekend? Harry and Ron are coming over. They have a few days off of work and I am making them dinner," Hermione said, watching Draco eat his plate of chicken and mashed potatoes with enthusiasm.

He shrugged. "I don't care. Are they going to play nice?"

"Yes, I've already asked them to in the letter I was just writing in case you and me were on good terms again."

"Who else did you invite?"

"Just Ginny, Blaise, and Spencer…"

"Oh," Draco said, his eye twitching. "You guys will all be paired off except for me."

"Ron and Harry won't be," she said. Draco gave her a look and she laughed. "Okay, yes they will be. I'm hoping they come out already and just admit they are together."

"Honestly," Draco said, mouth full of food. "They are flaming!"

"Oh, shush. It doesn't make them any less great."

"It just makes them that much more gay."

"Oh, yay!" Blaise exclaimed, walking into the kitchen with Ginny. "We're one big happy family again!" He attempted hugging Draco but the blond threatened him with his knife. "You little bitch."

"Everything seems to be back to normal then," Ginny said, rolling her eyes and smiling.

--

The next say was Saturday, so Draco made his way over to Diagon Alley in order to return his book of spells to the Diagon Library. He deposited his book into a cart by the front door where, after being checked for any damage, would float back into its proper location on the shelves.

Draco decided to see if he could find any more books on dark magic and voices, and so, he led himself into the furthest corner of the library. The dark magic books were never kept in the front. He ran his long fingers across the binds of many books, reading the titles and considering them. Finally catching sight of one that snagged his interest, he pulled it out. In doing so, he could see through to the other side, and to his pleasant surprise, he saw two girls kissing. A grin overtook his lips.

_This is going to be a good day. _He stared for a little while longer, but cursed in his mind. He couldn't see their faces clearly, only two bodies pressed together and the feverish act of grasping each other's breasts. _Let me just take a peek around the bookcase._

When Draco finally popped his head around to the other side, his eyes widened in alarm. Sure enough, the one now pushing a blonde girl up against the bookcase was Spencer. Narrowing his eyes, he emerged completely on her side and coughed loudly.

The other girl broke the kiss and blushed furiously. "I'll see you later Spence," she muttered, while straightening out her shirt and walking away quickly.

"Spence? That's a cute pet name. Does Granger call you that too?" Draco asked.

She smirked, breathing heavily from her interaction with the blonde. Running a hand through her hair, she said, "Come now, you've never done a few side projects while with another girl?

"Yes, I've had my share. The only difference is you're having these 'side projects' while with Granger and that doesn't go down well with me."

"Please, spare me. You don't care about her, but then again, who does?"

"What the fuck are you playing at?" he growled. "Just let her be, or so help me Merlin, I will—"

"What?" Spencer asked, getting close to him. "You're going to tell Hermione that I was off getting some from a pretty little chit? Do you really think she'll take your word over mine? Even if she did Malfoy, one teensy weensy order from my lips and she'll be at my feet again."

"I knew it! You are using dark magic!"

She laughed. "I knew you would. See Malfoy, you and me are alike. We play dirty to get what we want, and play even dirtier to keep it. Hermione is perfect for commitment, so I got her early before somebody else noticed. I'll just keep getting whatever else I want from others until I'm ready to settle. Fool proof."

"Problem is I noticed as well."

"Ah, but my dear boy, is this a challenge?!" Spencer said, grinning. "Now, now, I've mentioned I like to play dirty, didn't I?"

"Lose the dark magic and play like a real man," said Draco, narrowing his eyes. "I'll fight for her heart, especially against a lying bitch like you."

"I wouldn't do this. You could just try being honorable and all that shit and tell her you saw me, you know?"

"No, that makes it easy for you."

Spencer shrugged. "Suit yourself, but I want Hermione. She's quite fond of me you know? Very excited when I asked her to be my girl."

"You aren't a threat to me. I'll keep this encounter to myself, but worry not. Granger will forget all about you."

Shaking her head, Spencer said, "Quick little tip: maybe switching to her first name will be a tad more romantic." She rolled her eyes, and walked away mumbling. "Stupid chap."

_Well, this definitely was not on the terms I imagined myself perhaps wooing Granger. I mean, Hermione. Oh fuck, whatever. I will not go down. If anything, this just gave me more of an incentive to go after her. This will be my dirty little secret with Spencer._

_Dammit, if I knew her last name I wouldn't have to call her that!_

_I wish I could just call her Hooker. "This is Hooker, and she works at the Hooker Hut."_

_Fuck, didn't I say I had to stop talking to myself?_

--

**Author's Note****: :shifty eyes: I'm sorry!! I know I haven't been doing my job. I just went through MAJOR writer's block, and am recently slightly breaking through. I know it's been a year since I updated (literally, August 13****th****, 2007), but trust me the months that came after August '07 were not fun-filled; I was having a lot of difficult times and writing became very difficult. I went through some crappy things, but I'm back. I can't guarantee my updating will be often, but I swear I will try. In less than 2 weeks, I move into my dorm and soon thereafter start my freshman year of college, so I'll be busy. Thank you for not giving up on me! I have not one second forgotten this story or any of you. As always, thanks for reading, and hopefully enjoying and reviewing!**


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